Friday, March 18, 2011

GQ Names Philadelphia Fans As Nations Worst...Hell, I Could've Told You That

Living as a New York Giants fan is not an easy thing. I've never really had a problem with Philly teams themselves (Michael Vick not withstanding), but the fan base in this city seems to be composed of the biggest assholes ever to walk the face of the Earth. So I'm forced to root against most Philly teams lest the fans here get to enjoy any sort of happiness.

Well, as it turns out I'm far from the only person who feels this way. Recently, the writers at GQ Magazine published a list of the "15 Worst Sports Fans in America". And guess what? Philadelphia grabbed positions 1 and 2 on the list. Since GQ went by team and not by city, they were able to give Phillies fans and Eagles fans the top two spots. And I can safely say that Philly truly earned this one.

I mean, where do you start? GQ mentioned the stupid jerk off who sprinted on the field during a Phillies game only to be tased by an overly zealous security guard. And of course there's the infamous pelting of Santa Claus with snowballs, and the recent incident where one of New Jersey's finest citizens intentionally vomited on an 11-year-old girl (Here's a link to the post I did on this delightful fellow just in case you don't believe me).

But all of these things could potentially be written off as the actions of a few rotten apples rather than an overarching problem with the fan base as a whole. However, to do so would ignore the ignorant shit that Philly fans do en masse, such as the incident GQ mentions where an entire stadium of Phillies fans booed "the recipient of America's very first hand transplant, whose crime was dribbling in a ceremonial first pitch—thrown with his freshly transplanted hand." Wow. Really? Hey Philly, fans I've seen your general physical condition and I'm not so certain you could do any better.

GQ also mentions the cheers they gave when Michael Irvin of the Dallas Cowboys suffered a career-ending neck injury at The Vet. to be honest, I can overlook this one because Michael Irvin was one of the biggest pricks ever to play in the league and I find it hard to feel too sorry for a drug-abusing alleged rapist.

But I think the best example I can give you of what makes Philly fans such a waste of air is this YouTube clip that shows an example of the jovial, spirited celebration by Phillies fans the night that they won the World Series back in 2008.

Way to even take a moment of celebration and turn it ugly, Philly fans. And yes, I'm quite aware that other cities are guilty of sports rioting. GQ mentions one or two in their list. But for me there is something extra mean-spirited about seeing some goofy schmuck dangling on a traffic light and thinking "That guy needs a head injury."

So congrats to those ignorant douche bags who give this city such a horrible reputation. I'm sure they are the same guys who will hit the comments section, either here or at GQ, to rail everyone else for not understanding what it's like to be really passionate about sports. Because of course you don't enjoy sports if you aren't willing to boo a 10 year old because he's wearing a Mets cap. And to those Philly fans who actually do have a sense of decency in their fandom (believe it or not I've met a few) you can thank the people mentioned above for making the rest of the country hate you.


  1. Yeah, those Philly fans look like a group of real sweethearts.

  2. I always had that impression--did the Flyers make the list? And who were the other teams on the list? I would imagine Detroit is right up there too. Cleveland fans are pretty well behaved since the elimination of nickle beer night. I remember reading an interesting article a few years ago when they thought there might be an Oakland/SF world series and it talked about how everyone assumes SF fans are sophisticated and Oakland fans are trolls but they said it's the other way around.

  3. BTW, I don't know if this happens to you but after I watch the video of the guy getting bonked by the bottle, I get links to a lot of electric fence prank videos. Given my interest in the topic, I watched a few--it's really scary to think that the people in those videos might procreate someday.

  4. I hate pretentious New York (New Jersey) Giants Fans. Big f'in apple. Blow me. And cheering on the Michael Irvin incident is TOTALLY acceptable. Dude is a prick.

  5. Hansi--They really have that special way about them that you can't help but love to hate.

    Tom--I'm not sure about the science here but maybe if we're lucky the constant electrocutions will make them sterile.

    J_Fellenbaum--We may be pretentious but at least we're not deeply deluded. But I'm sure this is the Eagles' year to win the Super Bowl!

  6. You should have been in the UK during the ighties we made sport violence an olympic event sadly.

  7. I agree 100%. I have seen the Phillies and Flyers play in Philadelphia and it was brutal. The things I heard their fans say should never ever be repeated in decent company. I have also seen the Eagles play in Chicago and their small group of fans were vocal and obnoxious.

  8. i hate philly fans they have serious issues