Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Everybody Sucks But Me, Day 2: Oh, You Don't Know?

Wow, this is kind of pathetic. It's only the second day of this bad idea and I'm already floundering for something to bitch about. I'm sure my college English teachers would be very proud of me. Anyway, it never hurts to go to the well of topics that most people can agree on, and in that vein today's title comes from a joke that I read a long time ago that I think pretty much defines the hipster culture:

How many hipsters to take to screw in a light bulb?

Oh, you don't know?

I grant you, this joke is not great for belly laughs. But I do think that it perfectly conveys the agonizingly condescending attitude that these pricktards show to pretty much everyone. I think what pisses me off the most about the hipster culture is that they are right about the fact that a lot of mainstream entertainment is about two steps above watching a pig hump a throw pillow. But instead of working to open people up to stuff with a bit more substance, they hoard any good new work and then dismiss it as crap as soon as it becomes popular.

Take 30 Rock, for example, although this is still on the mainstream end of the hipster spectrum since nobody in it smokes, wears a striped shirt, or uses the phrase "human condition." But it was off-center enough to catch the attention of hipster crowd, even earning praise from the A.V. Club, the beacon of hipster douches everywhere. But of course, eventually more and more people started liking 30 Rock, and as we all know popularity is the perfect hipster repellent. Even the A.V. Club writer in charge of covering 30 Rock acknowledges that he really enjoyed the show until he "got a directive from the chairman of President Obama’s Council of Hipster Affairs ordering me to spearhead a nonsensical and inexplicable hipster backlash against 30 Rock." And the backlash really was nonsensical. Nothing about the show changed, which is why some hipsters will tell you that it wasn't good anymore; it had become stale. But then these are usually the same idiots who cry foul when a show tries to shake things up because it goes against the theme of the show.

I liked Shakespeare's early stuff, but he started using iambic pentameter as a crutch

One show, however, that hipsters seem to be more than happy to shove down the public's throats is fucking Arrested Development. Every new comedy that comes out is compared to and dismissed as falling back on broad, easy humor when compared to this show. First of all, I refuse to acknowledge the term "broad" as having any real meaning whatsoever. It's either funny or it's not. Shut the fuck up and laugh at a fart joke now and then. Secondly, someone just needs to say this: ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT IS NOT THAT GOOD! It's funny, yes, and I enjoyed the few episodes that I've seen. But it's not the quintessential comedy that all these horn-rimmed glasses wearing schmucks try to tell us it is.

Oh God, now they've got me saying words like quintessential. I'm just going to go now before I start wearing a beret. But please, if you agree and you think that Arrested Development is overrated, please oblige me and say so in the comments section. I'd really like to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that show is kind of lame.


  1. Firstly, I'm not a hipster.
    Secondly, you sir, are WRONG! Arrested Development was awesome!!!
    Thirdly, I have tree sap in my hair and I have to go wash it. Again.

    That is all.

  2. Well if it was so awesome then how come that shit got canceled?

  3. Because Fox is run by a bunch of assholes! They canceled Family Guy and Futurama too...

  4. But of those three shows two were brought back. Hmm, I wonder which one wasn't?