Friday, August 6, 2010
Like Father Like Son...Ah Shit, Really?
I know this is a cliche topic, but fuck it I'm writing on a blog called "Grumpy Old Man" so I think the originality ship sailed a long time ago. Anyway, have you ever had that moment as an adult where you realize just how much of an impact your parents have had on the person you've become. I mean, I've always known that my dad (Master Grump? El Grump Grande?) had a lot to do with shaping my point of view, but I think I forget the scope of that effect until I spend time with him.
Take today. I got off work early and my dad, a truck driver by trade, happened to be in the area. So we decided to meet for lunch. Being the sophisticated fellows that we are, we decided to really live it up and eat in the parking lot of a nearby Wawa, which is basically 7-11 on steroids for those of you unfamiliar with the chain. And without the presence of either of our significant others to keep us in check, it wasn't long until we began doing all of the things that we love yet seems to annoy the living shit out of everyone else.
A good 50% of our conversation, for example, dealt with observing the driving habits of other people in the parking lot. Actually it was more like shitting on the driving habits of other people in the parking lot. Because according to my dad and I, no one else on the planet is any good at driving. At all. And it's not enough for us to simply know that. We need to reinforce it whenever we get a chance by complaining aloud whenever someone else on the road does something that displeases us, even if that means we're talking to ourselves. But when we have each other as an audience, things get ten times worse. Once we get rolling who knows when our pompous bitching will end?
Usually, the only thing to break our concentration is when one of us lets loose a good fart. Because farts are hilarious.
Plus, farts are the perfect segue into our other favorite activity: retelling stories that we've already told everyone about three thousand times, including each other. Today's classic tale was from when we went to eat at a respected buffet in Lancaster County with less than subtle religious undertones, and Dad farted in the gift shop. And we laughed a lot. That's the whole story. I've heard/told it more times than I can count, but I'll be damned if I didn't get a good five minute laugh from telling it again. Hell, I'm actually laughing to myself now. I mean, come on. He farted! Right in the gift shop where everyone could hear it! Ah, what do you know from funny.
So I know that it's no grand revelation that we have a tendency to wind up having traits in common with people that we've spent most of our formidable years with, but next time your with your parents take note of the similarities that you might not have even noticed before. Even if you'd like to think that you're the exact opposite of your parents, I guarantee there are at least one or two things that cross over between you. Heheh.....farts.