Thursday, July 7, 2011

Anyone want a blog? Only slightly used and very lonely.

I think this blog has finally become so neglected it's at the take-it-out-back-and-shoot-it stage. Or, for those of you raised in a more suburban environment, take-it-to-a-nice-blog-farm-far-away-and-let-it-run-free-with-the-other-blogs stage. Maybe I can try and nurse it back to health, Dr. Quinn style.

Evil Taylor Hicks is currently attempting to finish Devil in a White City so it can be turned over to me. I'm currently trying to avoid reading Embassytown since I'm only about 30 pages in and I'm already debating about finishing it. So while I'm trying not to acknowledge my attempt to branch out from my reading wheelhouse, I decided I'd sneak on here and post something just to see if the Evil One would notice. The following are a variety of things I've been enjoying lately:

Bangable Dudes in History

Whoa, what a start! That's right, a blog about hot historical dudes complete with pie charts and pictures. To be fair, the blogger does post pictures of chicks occasionally but mostly sticks with the black and white male sexiness. I now feel much less creepy about my unclean thoughts during history class.

When Parents Text

I love, love, love this site. Basic and absolutely hysterical. It also makes me slightly nostalgic for the days that my mom first started texting. Only slightly though.

Go Fug Yourself

Fashion and snarkiness all rolled up in one blog. I cannot recommend this site enough if you have even the slightest interest in clothes and/or laughing. I think I may have fallen in love with this site when one of the bloggers was able to work in a Blazing Saddles reference (an OBSCURE reference mind you not any of the more famous ones) into a fashion post.

Okay, okay, I have to get one complaint in concerning the new Toyota Venza commercials. Obviously, you need to watch them before reading the rest.

Done? Great. First, the majority of the parent actors and their "kids" look to be about the same age. (I put "kids" in quotes because all of these actors look like they are in their 30s.) Second, I'm not on Facebook and neither is Evil Twin to Taylor Hicks. However, we get harangued on a pretty consistent basis by our MUCH OLDER RELATIVES because of our absence on that stupid site. Toyota, the oldies LOVE them some Facebook AND are actually quite quick to adapt to new technologies and run them into the ground. So, you're trying to sell cars based on how inactive and condescending today's "kids" are and how older people are able to balance their lives and technology in a better way through...your cars? Douchebags. Next time, take two seconds to sit down with your 20-something marketing interns and run the adverts by them. We're not all as insipid as we look.

A few more bitch-free things:

You guys, when in the hell did NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM GET SMOKING HOT??? I've avoided the last couple of movies just because I was so Pottered out (I'd gone a bit....potty?Snort.) which I now regret utterly and completely. Also, if you are a Potter fan (of the books or the movies) you really need to read the latest issue of Entertainment Weekly since they went all out. Apparently, if you were British and an actor, then you had some kind of role in these movies. And if you weren't, then the cast was laughing at you behind your back.

Voyager is on Netflix! This will most likely be the last post from me for awhile since I will be deeply engrossed by Cap'n Janeway's Gibson Girl and B'Elanna's bitchiness for the next couple of weeks. I also think it's hilarious that Deep Space Nine is the only Star Trek TV product that is not on Watch Instantly. Probably because it sucks.

If this inspired you to take a look at your queue, then also be sure to add the Masterpiece Mystery version of Sherlock (which I am obsessed with as Evils Hicks can attest) and Downton Abbey. Hicks keeps calling this Downtown Abbey, which sounds like a kicky 90s sitcom about a 20 something who's come to the big city to find herself and has a weird roommate that does yoga naked. This is not that, it's much more dramatic and British.

Time wasted. You're welcome!

-Not Looks Like Taylor Hicks


  1. I know you're just watching "Voyager" so you can laugh out loud at Chakotay and his ancestor Six Pack...

  2. Oh, and China Mieville? The worst of noir meets the worst of "speculative fiction" meets the worst of the postmodern, trendy, transgressive novel...

  3. Speaking of the Netflix queue.... one of my awesome and high school graduated employees thought that you said the word queue "Key" .... WOW.